03 Nov Radical Acceptance & My Big Fall
About a month ago I was playing in a baseball (yes baseball, not softball) tournament in California. In the fourth game of the weekend, running hard to first base, I collapsed. A week later, an MRI confirmed that I had torn all three of my hamstring muscles right off my pelvic bone. On October 10 I had re-attachment surgery which results in a year-long rehab: weeks in bed, pain, canceled plans and speeches, an inability to sit for more than five minutes, and giving up many of the things I love doing like hiking, tennis, swimming, and on it goes.
My friend Jim had some simple advice: Radical Acceptance. He said, “If you can’t change something, then lean in.” It’s too late not to pull the hamstring. I can bitch and moan (and have done some of that) or I can lean in asking, “Since this has happened, what can I do with this time and what can it teach me?” Easy: no, necessary: YES.
I’ve seen this in my work with business as well. The market changes, a competitor innovates, tariffs are levied, the economy stalls, your best talent goes somewhere else, you lose a big contract – you get it. Radical acceptance. Moaning, wishing it wasn’t so, wishing it could be the way it used to be won’t help. All you can do is ask: What can I do now and what can this teach us?
Is Radical Acceptance the same as passivity? Heck, no! Radical Acceptance isn’t giving in – it’s leaning into what’s happening and looking forward, not back. It’s about being brave enough to be curious.
When I wrote my book Stepping Up, almost everyone who made a leap had to accept some hard truth, some difficult reality and then leaned in. Research shows the most successful and happy rarely waste time focusing on the barriers they can’t change, they just get busy. A five-minute pity party may be the first step, but as my friend Rick says, “It’s ok to go to pity city, just don’t buy a condo there!!”
P.S. Although my rehab will take 6-12 months, I’ll be back speaking in person starting January 2026.
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.